Loving someone is one of the most courageous things you can ever do in this lifetime and requires more effort, energy and intention than most realize. When you ask someone to spend the rest of their life with you, you are putting all of your eggs in one basket in the hopes that what you two create will stand the test of time. That’s pretty incredible if you ask me.
Here’s why loving someone is one of the most courageous things you can ever do.
YOU HAVE TO ABANDON 'SELF'
Loving someone requires you to completely abandon the idea of self and realize that you are now operating as a single unit (assuming you two are married). For your marriage to work you have to dissolve all notions of ego, entitlement, and selfishness and understand that every decision you make is a decision you’ve made for the both of you.
Every choice you move forward with either contributes to or takes away from the unit. You may not agree with this but when you are married, the idea of ‘I’ must be completely abandoned in order for you two to thrive. That takes alot of courage.
IT MIGHT NOT WORK OUT
Loving someone requires knowing that it might not work out. No matter what you think, feel or how you would react to a certain situation, you can never know with full certainty what others will think, feel and do. But I think there’s a certain beauty to this honest truth. We’ve all heard stories of men and women leading double lives. We’ve all heard stories of people leaving their spouse after 25 years of marriage. We’ve all heard stories of situations that have gone south. But yet, we continue to love
I would describe it as sort of a silent courage. Knowing that nothing is ever guaranteed and that your relationship is ultimately determined by what you two put into it. No. You’re not going to wake up everyday reminding yourself that your partner could leave you. Rather, you should be waking up everyday, demonstrating to him or her why they shouldn’t. Loving someone when you have no control over whether or not they stay is courage on another level.
YOU’RE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT
Loving someone takes the courage to admit you’re wrong. I'm not quite sure if it's ego, wanting to avoid confrontation or simply not wanting to suffer the embarrassment. Whatever the case, one of the hardest things to say is the following
I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me.
When you love someone you need to have the courage to admit when you are wrong and let go of pride. It doesn't mean let your partner take advantage of you and it doesn't mean say you're wrong when you know you're not. What it means is that if you know you’ve done something that has hurt your partner you take every measure to address the situation and do your absolute best to move forward from it. Something this surprisingly simple takes a lot of courage.
ONE > MANY
Loving someone means you're courageous enough to love ONE person. This holds especially true in today's fast-paced culture of instant gratification and short attention spans. We're always looking for the next best thing, the next fastest thing and the next easiest thing. And the last time I checked, love is never instant, fast or easy. Its slow. It's deliberate. It's arduous. It takes more effort than people like to admit.
When you tell someone you love them, what you're really saying is that you are making a choice to love THEM when you could have chosen anyone else at any time. Loving someone and only that someone takes a lot of courage
LOVE REQUIRES ACTION
In order to truly love someone. In order to give someone your all. You have to be an active participant in the relationship. You have to be proactive in finding ways to guard your love, strengthen it and nurture it. When you choose not to do this, you’re choosing (whether you want to admit it or not) to sabotage something before you get a chance to reap the full benefits.
In any team sport, in any project that requires teamwork to accomplish a task, in ANY situation where you NEED the talents, skills and knowledge of someone outside of yourself, becoming stagnant weakens the position of the group as a whole and compromises their trust and belief in you. Your relationship is no different.
Loving someone requires action, movement and effort! All of those things require a lot of courage.
For those courageous enough to love
I commend you.
I salute you.
I honor you.
I congratulate you.
Continue to press toward the mark and never forget that it's all about the journey and not the destination. And whatever you do, never let the past serve as anything other than a gift. A learning experience that will bring you closer to the person you were truly meant to love.
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